How To Develop Effective Communication Skill And Get What You Want With Your Words

By | July 9, 09

Without doubt, a crucial aspect of achieving success in life or business is having effective communication skill. Simply put, having effective communication skill means to be able to use words in such a way that you will get what you desire from someone else or other people.

At one point or the other, as we strive to reach our goals, we find that we desire something from someone else or from a group of people. No one ever grows out of needing something from other people.

If you are unemployed, you need someone or some company to give you a job. If you desire to help people in need, you would need donations from other people or foundations; if you have a business that needs funding, you may need an investor to bring the needed money.

If you need more sales in your business, it means you need to reach more people to buy, or your existing customers to buy more. If you need items in bulk for your production, you would need suppliers to help you out.

I could go on and on with more instances where you could need something from another person or institution, but that would be overwhelming. I’m sure as you read this, you can easily relate to it because there is something you are needing from someone else right now.

The point I want to bring out here is the fact that we are interrelated, and interdependent on one another. All of our activities in life connect with other people. And if we must succeed at anything, be it in our personal life or business, we need other people to help out, to give us that which we need.

But nobody will give you anything just because you want it, there must be something about giving it to you that will make that person feel happy giving it to you. And the only way you can strike that code in them is in your communication with them.

Communication is a powerful tool which successful individuals and businesses use to achieve their goals easily. And it is a skill you must develop to have easy success in life. You must be able to communicate with other people, such that their resistance to doing what you desire is totally removed.

You must know that people always hold themselves back when there is a call for them to give out something they possess to someone else. They will ask themselves, consciously or unconsciously why they should do it.

Your target customer will want to know why they should buy from you. There is always the “What is in it for me?” question that pops up in the mind of any person that is been asked to give or buy something.

If a compelling answer does not follow that question, then you will most likely lose getting that thing. And a persuasive answer will only come up if you’ve previously had a good communication with that person.

As a matter of fact, 85% of your success in life or business will depend on your ability to communicate effectively with other people. No wonder the majority of people the world over are not successful.

The majority of people on earth don’t understand just how critical their communication with other people or institutions affects their success.

This does not mean they don’t work hard. You may be the hardest working fellow around, but if you cannot get what you want from other people, then there is no way your hard work will translate to success. And to get what you desire from other people means your communication with them must be effective.

Now what must your communication have for it to be effective, and for you to be able to get what you want from people? But before I go ahead let me first state that communication is not just conversation, it is beyond that.

It involves emails, letters, proposals, fax, resume, CV, cover letter, sales letter, and ads. It involves all platforms through which two or more people can interact.

Back to what makes effective communication:

It Should Be Friendly

It is easier to get something from a friend than from a total stranger. This is because the person giving the thing has certain positive perception about the receiver that makes it very comfortable for him or her to easily release it.

And of course, this perception would have been created partly by the communication and actions of the person to his or her friend over time.

A friend is someone who is understanding, compassionate, loving, accommodating, protecting, reliable, kind, dependable, caring, and freely giving. These are some qualities expressed that will make one a friend to someone else.

So tell me, who wouldn’t give out something to a friend – someone who is seen in the above light?

You can equally apply this basic psychology in your communication with people even if you haven’t related or met them before. All you have to do is to reflect the friendship-building qualities above in your conversation, letter, email, proposal, resume, or any other medium of communication you are using with people.

But you should be sincere about it; otherwise the gains you make will not last long. If you give somebody the impression that you are reliable only to default on the very first assignment given to you without a justifiable reason, could immediately lead to the termination of whatever deal you had gotten before.

It Should Dispel Any Fear

There is always a fear, doubt, or concern in the mind of anyone when they are asked to give out something to another person. Will this person be able to do this job? Will he or she have the time for this project? Can we really trust this company with our funds? Can this product actually solve my problem? These are some fears people could have that could prevent them from going ahead to granting other people’s requests or buying from them.

If you must get what you need from other people or get them to buy your product, you have to find out what their fears might be concerning giving it to you or buying from you – don’t think there are non, there is always one or two. Then assure them, with convincing evidence or guarantee in your communication with them, that you are right above the fear.

It Should Answer The Second Party’s Desires

The person or company you want something from also has a need or desire they would like to be met. Remember the “What is in it for me question?” You must therefore identify their burning desires and address them in your communication with them.

Sometimes, you may be able to know right away what the second party’s desires are. For instance, if you were applying for a job, you would easily see what is of importance to the company you are seeking employment from in the job description, and so tackle it in your cover letter and resume.

Where the need of the second party is not openly stated, it means you will have to do a little research to find it out.

It Should Be Sincere

Let your communication be sincere. Everyone loves to deal with sincere people. Don’t try to claim what you are not, you will definitely be found out, and then you will lose everything.

It Should Acknowledge Your Weakness, But…

As part of been sincere in your communication, if you think there could be a weakness on your part that could prevent the other person or people from giving you what you want, you should point it out, but you should also be quick to point out how you could easily improve yourself or make up for the deficiency.

For instance, if a job you are applying for requires that you know how to speak Latin, but you could only speak English at the moment, you should acknowledge this set back, but let them know you are prepared to take a crash course in Latin, and that you could get a handle on it in a week or two.

This will definitely turn the table around in your favor. One, it shows you are sincere to accept your disadvantage (which is a plus on the character scale), and two, it shows you have a fighting spirit to overcome obstacles on your way; and three, it shows you are willing to change or learn something new.

It Should Clearly Express Your Desire

Your communication cannot be said to be effective if it keeps the other person or people guessing what it is that you want. Don’t assume the other party should know what you want, make it very clear to them. You could list them out so that there is no ambiguity about your position or desire.

It Should Emphasize Your Strength

Your strength, especially when it is relevant to the other person you need something from, could be your greatest selling point to having what you want.

Carefully, and strongly pointing out what you can do very well for the other person, more than anyone else, will put you in the position of getting what you desire. It will quench a big fear or doubt the person may be having about you.

A lot of people miss the opportunity to nail a job, land a good business or other deals, because they are not able to communicate their strength strongly enough to assure the other person or people that they are the right one.

Without been boastful, or arrogant, you must communicate what you can do exceptionally well to the other person. If you don’t, there is no way they can know it. And that means you will likely lose the position you desire to someone else with less ability.

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